I’m running the Oxford half marathon in October in aid of Alzheimer’s uk a charity which is really close to my heart.
But in all honesty I’ll be running for myself.
Running for the me I’ve become, unapologetic, uninhibited me. No longer suppressing her personality for others, no longer aware of others judgment, but relishing in her abundance of self love.
I spent a lot of the last year wondering what’s wrong with me, feeling inadequate in every way. That isn’t me. I was raised to be self assure and strong but I felt I couldn’t. I felt claustrophobic like I couldn’t move. So I shrank into a fractional my former self, in order to breathe, in order to survive.
But recently I became sick of just surviving. Frustrated I’d been not taking up the space that I know I’d thrive in.
So today as I finish my first training run, I’m going to commit myself to train in self love as one would do for a marathon.
Though it seems a basic acclimation, as someone who’s experienced trauma I fear it may be harder than the half marathon. But gosh I’m sure it’ll be just as satisfying if not more.